Character is revealed by choice
Adjectives don't make a person real; what they do under pressure does. Learn to show character through a costly choice, and to give your person a flaw that gets in the way of their want.
Two ways to meet Mrs Tavakoli
Adjectives
Mrs Tavakoli was a kind and generous woman who always cared about other people.
A choice
Mrs Tavakoli counted her money twice at the bakery. Then she bought four loaves instead of two, and left two on the doorstep of the student downstairs, the one whose light had been on all night all week.
THE PRINCIPLE
A choice that costs something
We learn who someone is when they have to choose, and the choice costs them. Anyone is generous when it's free. Mrs Tavakoli counted her money twice, so we know the bread was not nothing to her, and she gave it anyway. The cost is what makes the choice speak.
Pressure can be small: the last seat on the bus, a mistake only you noticed, a friend's bad idea that everyone else is praising. What does your character do?
Check yourself
Omid wants readers to see that his character Reza is honest. Which line does it best?
- "The cashier gave Reza too much change. He was late, and short of money that week. He walked back."
- "Everyone who knew Reza, from the baker to the bank clerk, said he had never told a single lie in his life."
- "Reza was the most honest man in the whole neighbourhood."
- "Reza believed deeply that honesty was the most important value."
Show the answer
"The cashier gave Reza too much change. He was late, and short of money that week. He walked back."
Right. He is late and short of money, so going back costs him. We watch him pay that cost, and we decide for ourselves that he's honest.
Flaw
A weakness, fear or blind spot that makes the character's life harder, and usually gets in the way of the very thing they want. A flaw is not a cute quirk ("she's always late"). It is something that costs them.
Want: Negar wants her team to respect her. Flaw: she can't admit when she doesn't know something. So every meeting, the thing she does to look strong is the thing that loses their trust.
INSIDE AND OUTSIDE
The obstacle inside
In lesson 1 the obstacle was outside: a broken bus, a closed shop. A flaw gives you a second obstacle inside the person. The strongest stories use both: the outside problem forces the character to face the inside one. That is also where the change from lesson 3 comes from.
Sara's outside obstacle was a squealing microphone and a lost paper. Her inside obstacle was the fear she had carried since school. Losing the paper forced her to face the fear.
Kaveh had told everyone he would quit the day his novel was accepted.
The email came on a Tuesday: yes, with changes.
He read it three times, closed the laptop, and went to ask his manager about the promotion.Want: to be a writer.
Flaw: he is afraid of actually being judged as one.
The choice (walking toward the safe job at the very moment the door opens) tells us more about Kaveh than a page of description. No adjective was used.A choice can reveal a flaw just as well as a virtue. Often that is the more interesting story.
Check yourself
Does the line show character, or only label it?
- He gave the taxi driver directions to the long way round, so the call with his father would end before they arrived.
- She was a very brave and determined young woman.
- Her boss praised the idea in front of everyone. She said, "Actually, it was Mina's."
- He had always been a selfish person.
- He saw his old teacher across the street, checked the time, and crossed over anyway.
- Everyone agreed that she had a heart of gold.
Show the answer
Shows through a choice: He gave the taxi driver directions to the long way round, so the call with his father would end before they arrived., Her boss praised the idea in front of everyone. She said, "Actually, it was Mina's.", He saw his old teacher across the street, checked the time, and crossed over anyway.
Only a label: She was a very brave and determined young woman., He had always been a selfish person., Everyone agreed that she had a heart of gold.
A tea bag in hot water
A dry tea bag tells you almost nothing. Put it in hot water and you find out what's inside. A character is the same: calm scenes and descriptions are the dry bag, and pressure is the hot water. Where the analogy breaks: tea always gives the same colour. A person under pressure can surprise even themselves, and can come out changed.
Check yourself
To make listeners like your main character, you should give them no real weaknesses.
Show the answer
False
False. A person with no flaw has nothing to struggle with inside, so they feel unreal and a little smug. We trust and like characters whose weakness we recognise, especially when we watch them fight it.
Four questions to build a person
- What do they want?
The concrete want from lesson 1.
- What in them gets in the way?
A fear, a habit, a pride. Something that has cost them before.
- Where will they be forced to choose?
Find the moment where they can't have both: the want or the comfort, the truth or the friendship.
- What does the choice cost?
Time, money, face, safety. If it costs nothing, find a harder moment.
Check yourself
Maryam is writing about her grandfather for a family memorial. Her draft says: "He was proud, hard-working and loved us very much." Which revision follows this lesson best?
- "He was extremely proud, incredibly hard-working and loved us more than anything."
- "As the saying goes, a good man is known by his deeds, and he was such a man."
- "He was born in a small village, moved to the city at twenty, worked in the same factory for thirty-five years, retired at sixty, and after that spent most of his days in the garden with his grandchildren."
- "At eighty he still let no one carry his shopping. But when I failed my exam, he took two buses across the city to sit with me, and never mentioned the exam."
Show the answer
"At eighty he still let no one carry his shopping. But when I failed my exam, he took two buses across the city to sit with me, and never mentioned the exam."
Yes. The shopping shows the pride (a small flaw), and the two buses show the love through a choice that cost him effort. No adjective needed.
Lesson recap
- Adjectives label a character; a choice under pressure reveals one.
- The choice has to cost something: time, money, face, comfort.
- Give your person a flaw that gets in the way of what they want. It is the obstacle inside.
- The outside problem should force them to face the inside one. That is where change comes from.