Networking without the awkwardness
The people who can help you are often one or two conversations away. Learn to use weak ties, ask for advice instead of favours, and write a short message people actually answer.
WHO TO ASK
The strength of weak ties
In the 1970s the sociologist Mark Granovetter studied how people found their jobs. Among those who found work through a contact, the contact was more often someone they saw only occasionally than a close friend. Close friends know the same people and hear the same news as you. Acquaintances move in other circles, so they hear about things you don't.
Your best friend knows what you know. The classmate you haven't spoken to in two years, now working at a company you like, knows things you can't find online.
Two ways to open a conversation
Asking for a job
"Do you have any openings?" Puts the other person on the spot. If the answer is no, the conversation is over, and they may feel bad saying it.
Asking for advice
"How did you get into this work, and what would you do in my place?" Easy to say yes to, and most people enjoy it. Openings, if there are any, tend to come up on their own.
Check yourself
Parisa is an accountant who wants to move into UX design. She knows almost nobody in design. Who is the best person to message first?
- Her closest friend, who works in banking and sees her every week
- A former classmate she hasn't spoken to in years, who is now a UX designer
- The head of design at a large company she has never met, asking for a job there
- Nobody yet: she should finish a full design course before speaking to anyone in the field
Show the answer
A former classmate she hasn't spoken to in years, who is now a UX designer
Yes. The old classmate is a weak tie inside the field Parisa wants. A friendly shared history makes a reply likely, and he knows how the work really looks from inside.
Map the network you already have
- Write 30 names
Classmates, teachers, former colleagues, people from courses and online groups, relatives and their friends. Don't judge yet; just list.
- Mark who is near your targets
Put a star next to anyone who works in, or close to, the roles you chose earlier in this course. Also mark people who simply know a lot of people.
- Pick five to start
Choose the five with the most useful view and the warmest link. Next to each, write one reason you want to talk to them.
Informational interview
A short conversation, often 15–20 minutes, where you ask someone about their work, their path and their advice. You are not asking for a job. You come with a few prepared questions and you keep to the time you asked for.
"What does a normal week look like for you?", "What skills mattered most in your first year?", "Is there someone else you think I should talk to?"
Check yourself
Is each request easy or hard to say yes to?
- "Could we talk for 15 minutes about how you moved into data analysis?"
- "Can you get me a job at your company?"
- "Which skill do you wish you'd learned before your first year?"
- "I'm looking for any job at all, let me know if you hear of something."
- "Is there anyone else you think I should talk to?"
- "Can you introduce me to your manager?" in a first message to a stranger
Show the answer
Easy to say yes to: "Could we talk for 15 minutes about how you moved into data analysis?", "Which skill do you wish you'd learned before your first year?", "Is there anyone else you think I should talk to?"
Hard to say yes to: "Can you get me a job at your company?", "I'm looking for any job at all, let me know if you hear of something.", "Can you introduce me to your manager?" in a first message to a stranger
Hi Kaveh,
We were in the same statistics course in 2021.
I saw you're now a data analyst at a logistics company.
I'm moving from accounting into data analysis, and I'd
really value 15 minutes of your experience: what the
work is like day to day and which skills mattered most
when you started.
Would a short call next week suit you? If you're busy,
no problem at all.
Thanks,
LeilaAbout 70 words: who I am, why you, one small ask, a time limit, an easy way out.Leila read Kaveh's profile first, so she doesn't ask anything she could have looked up.
Check yourself
Nima has never spoken to Sahar, who works at the company he wants to join. Asking her for a referral in his very first message is the fastest route, so it's usually the best opening.
Show the answer
False
False. A referral puts Sahar's name behind Nima's, and she has no reason yet to trust him. Start with a short conversation about her work. If it goes well and there's a fitting role, a referral can come up naturally later, often offered rather than asked for.
During and after the conversation
- Bring three or four questions and listen more than you talk.
- Watch the clock. Offer to stop when your time is up, even if it's going well.
- Near the end, ask: "Who else should I talk to?" That's how one conversation becomes three.
- Send a thank-you the same day, naming one thing you'll act on. Keep a simple list of who you spoke to and when.
Check yourself
Match each situation to the best next move
Show the answer
- You know nobody in your target field → Start from weak ties: old classmates, colleagues, course mates
- An acquaintance works at a company you like → Ask for 15 minutes about her work
- A helpful call has just ended → Send thanks the same day
- They mention a colleague who knows more → Ask if they'd be happy to introduce you
Check yourself
Arash is shy and dreads networking events. He has six weeks before his contract ends. Which plan fits this lesson best?
- Go to one large conference and hand his CV to as many people as he can in a single day
- Wait until he feels more confident about talking to people, then start reaching out
- Message two or three acquaintances a week, asking about their work
- Skip networking entirely and put all his hours into sending more online applications instead
Show the answer
Message two or three acquaintances a week, asking about their work
Right. Short written messages to weak ties suit a quiet person well, and a steady few a week adds up to a dozen or more conversations before his contract ends.
Lesson recap
- Useful leads often come from weak ties: acquaintances who move in other circles.
- Ask for advice, not a job. A small, specific request with a time limit is easy to say yes to.
- An informational interview is 15–20 minutes of prepared questions, ending with "who else should I talk to?"
- Referrals come from trust, so build the relationship first and thank people the same day.