Interests, not positions
Look behind what someone demands to the need that drives it, and you'll find deals a tug-of-war over the demand would never reach.
What they say, and why they say it
Position · the demand
What someone says they want: "I need $500 off." "The window stays closed." "I won't pay the delivery fee." Positions are usually a single answer, and two positions often can't both be met.
Interest · the need behind it
Why they want it: money, safety, time, respect, certainty, looking good to their boss. One position usually hides several interests, and interests can often be met in more than one way. That is where new deals come from.
Check yourself
Is each sentence a position or an interest?
- "I want $2,000 more."
- "I need to cover my rent rise."
- "The deadline is Friday, no later."
- "My manager reviews it on Monday."
- "I won't pay the delivery fee."
- "I'm worried about going over budget."
Show the answer
Position: what they demand: "I want $2,000 more.", "The deadline is Friday, no later.", "I won't pay the delivery fee."
Interest: why they want it: "I need to cover my rent rise.", "My manager reviews it on Monday.", "I'm worried about going over budget."
A CLASSIC CASE
The library window
Two people are reading in a library. One wants the window open, the other wants it closed. They argue, and the obvious compromise, half open, pleases neither. Then the librarian asks each of them why. One wants fresh air. The other wants to avoid a draught. She opens a window in the next room: fresh air, no draught.
The story is used in Getting to Yes (Roger Fisher and William Ury, 1981). Splitting the difference between two positions gave each person half of nothing. Meeting the interests gave both all of what they needed.
Check yourself
The two siblings split the orange in half. One used only the juice, the other only the peel. What went wrong?
- They should have let a parent decide who gets it
- They bargained over the orange (their positions) without asking what each needed it for (their interests)
- The cut wasn't exactly equal
- Nothing: half each is always the fairest result
Show the answer
They bargained over the orange (their positions) without asking what each needed it for (their interests)
Yes. Both said "I want the orange", which is a position. Behind it were two different interests, juice and peel, that could both have been met in full.
Principled negotiation in four points
- Separate the people from the problem. Be soft on the person and firm on the issue.
- Focus on interests, not positions. Ask what each side actually needs.
- Invent options for mutual gain. Look for more than one way to meet those needs before choosing.
- Insist on objective criteria. Settle differences with market prices, data or precedent, not with who pushes harder.
- These four come from Getting to Yes and the Harvard Negotiation Project. This course keeps coming back to them.
Kian runs a small bakery. His flour supplier calls.
Supplier: Price goes up 10% next month.
Kian: What's pushing it up?
Supplier: Delivery. Your small weekly orders
cost us a van trip every week.
Kian: What matters to me is a steady monthly bill.
If I order twice a month instead of weekly,
could you keep the old price?
Supplier: Two bigger drops? Yes, that works.Position: +10% -> dropped
Supplier's interest: lower delivery costs
Kian's interest: stable monthly costs
Deal: orders twice a month, old price kept.Arguing about the 10% would have been a tug-of-war: 10%, 5%, 7%. One question about the reason turned it into a problem both sides could solve.
Check yourself
Leila likes a flat, but the landlord says: "No pets." Leila has a quiet old cat. What is the best first thing to say?
- "Why are you being so unreasonable?"
- "I'll pay $100 more a month if you let me keep her."
- "What worries you about pets?"
- "Fine, I'll look elsewhere."
Show the answer
"What worries you about pets?"
Right. "No pets" is a position. Asking what worries him uncovers the interest, perhaps scratched floors or smells, which Leila might meet with a deposit, a clean record from her last landlord, or a professional clean when she leaves.
How to find the interests
- Hear the position without arguing
Let them finish. Arguing now only makes them defend the position harder.
- Ask what it's for
"What's important to you about that?" "What would that solve for you?" "What worries you about...?" Ask with curiosity, not suspicion.
- Look for more than one
Several interests usually sit behind one position. A supplier's price rise can be about fuel, cash flow and a difficult month all at once.
- Ask yourself the same questions
Why do you want $500 off, or a Friday deadline? Knowing your own interests shows you which offers would really satisfy you.
- Sort shared and different interests
Shared ones (both want the deal done this month) bring you together. Different ones are what you can trade, which lesson 8 comes back to.
Check yourself
Focusing on interests means giving the other side whatever they want.
Show the answer
False
False. It means finding options that meet both sides' needs, including yours. Kian didn't accept the 10% rise; he found out why it was asked for and offered something that met the supplier's need and his own.
Check yourself
- Library window: open vs closed → fresh air from the next room
- Flour price: +10% vs no rise → fewer, bigger deliveries at the old price
What turned each of these fights into a deal?
- One side finally gave in
- Someone asked why each side wanted what it asked for
- They met exactly halfway
Show the answer
Someone asked why each side wanted what it asked for
Yes. In every case the positions clashed, but the interests behind them didn't. Asking why found an option neither position contained.
Lesson recap
- A negotiation is any conversation where two sides need each other's agreement. You have them every week.
- A position is what someone demands; an interest is why. One position usually hides several interests.
- Splitting the difference between positions often pleases no one. Meeting interests can satisfy both sides, like the window in the next room.
- Find interests by asking "What's important to you about that?" and "What worries you about...?", and ask yourself the same.
- Principled negotiation: separate people from the problem, focus on interests, invent options, use objective criteria.
- For your prep sheet: my interests, and their likely interests.