Body language and eye contact
Stand steady, use natural gestures, and look at people one at a time long enough to finish a thought.
STANCE
Stand like you mean to stay
Feet roughly hip-width apart, weight even on both feet, knees soft rather than locked. That's it. This one position stops most swaying, rocking and shifting from foot to foot, which are the moves that make a speaker look nervous. Stand where people can see you: beside the screen, not hidden behind a laptop or lectern.
Sara used to stand with her weight on one hip, then the other, every few seconds. Planting both feet made her look calmer, and she said it felt calmer too.
HANDS AND GESTURES
Let your hands talk, inside the box
Between gestures, let your hands rest at your sides or loosely together at waist height. When you gesture, do it naturally, roughly in the box between your waist and shoulders; a bigger room needs slightly bigger gestures. The best gestures match your words: hold up three fingers for "three reasons", hands wide apart for "a big difference", one hand then the other for "before... and after".
Avoid the habits that lock your hands away or make noise: hands in pockets the whole time, arms folded, clicking a pen, fiddling with a ring.
Check yourself
Sort these habits: helps Sara's talk, or distracts from it?
- Feet planted hip-width apart
- Rocking from heel to toe
- Holding up three fingers for her three points
- Hands in her pockets the whole time
- Pacing back and forth across the front
- Stepping forward as she says her key message
Show the answer
Helps: Feet planted hip-width apart, Holding up three fingers for her three points, Stepping forward as she says her key message
Distracts: Rocking from heel to toe, Hands in her pockets the whole time, Pacing back and forth across the front
Eye contact: one person, one thought
- Find one person
Pick someone in one part of the room and actually look at them, not at the wall above their head.
- Finish a thought with them
Stay with that person for about one complete thought, roughly 3 to 5 seconds. It feels like a short conversation with each of them.
- Move to another part of the room
Then land on someone else, somewhere different: the other side, further back. In a big room, pick people in different zones.
- Keep coming back round
Over the talk, include the whole room. The people you look at feel spoken to, and so do the people sitting near them.
Scanning vs landing
Sweeping the room
Your eyes glide across rows like a lighthouse, never stopping. Everyone is technically looked at and nobody feels looked at. It can also make you seem restless.
Landing on people
You stop on one face for a whole thought, then move. Fewer people per minute, but each one gets a real moment of connection, and your own pace slows down with it.
Check yourself
How long should Sara hold eye contact with one person before moving on?
- A quick glance, under a second, so no one feels stared at
- About one complete thought, roughly 3 to 5 seconds
- The whole of one section, so that person feels fully included
- As long as that person keeps nodding
Show the answer
About one complete thought, roughly 3 to 5 seconds
Right. One thought per person, then move to someone in another part of the room. Long enough to connect, short enough not to feel like staring.
Check yourself
Sara's manager is in the front row, and Sara finds herself talking only to her. What should she do?
- Keep looking at the manager; she's the one who decides
- Look at the screen instead so she doesn't seem to be pleading
- Share her eye contact across the whole room, including the manager
- Look just over everyone's heads at the back wall
Show the answer
Share her eye contact across the whole room, including the manager
Yes. The manager is one listener among many. Including the whole room makes everyone feel spoken to, and the manager sees a speaker who has the room with her.
MOVEMENT
Move with purpose, then be still
Movement is fine when it means something: step forward for your key message, move to a new spot as you start a new section, walk towards the side of the room where a question came from. Then stop and stand still again. Aimless pacing back and forth pulls eyes onto your feet and away from your words.
Your face matters too: a natural, friendly expression, and a smile where it fits what you're saying.
Sara stays planted for her story, then takes one step towards the room as she says, "Let's try it for four Mondays."
Check yourself
Mehrabian's research shows that in a presentation, only about 7% of what the audience takes away comes from your words.
Show the answer
False
False. The 55/38/7 figures came from narrow experiments about how people read feelings from single words said in a mismatched tone or with a mismatched face. They don't describe talks, and they don't mean words barely matter. Your words carry the message.
Check yourself
Match each moment in Sara's talk to what her body should do
Show the answer
- Waiting to begin → Feet planted, hands relaxed, look at someone
- "I have three reasons" → Hold up three fingers
- Saying the key message → One step towards the room, then stand still
- Telling the story → Stay planted and land on one face per thought
Lesson recap
- Stand with feet roughly hip-width apart, weight even, knees soft, where people can see you.
- Rest your hands at your sides or at waist height; gesture naturally between waist and shoulders, matching your words.
- Look at one person for about one thought (roughly 3 to 5 seconds), then move to someone in another part of the room.
- Include the whole room, not just the boss or one friendly face.
- Move with purpose, then be still; aimless pacing distracts.
- The "55/38/7" rule comes from narrow experiments on feelings and single words. In a talk, your words carry the message.