When you don't understand
Stop nodding and smiling. Ask the one question that fixes the exact problem: say it again, what does that word mean, or so you mean…?
THREE PROBLEMS
Not understanding is three different things
"I don't understand" is one sentence for three completely different problems, and it makes the other person repeat everything the same way. Split it up: it went too fast (ask them to say it again), one word was missing (ask about that word), or you think you got it but you're not sure (say it back and check).
A pharmacist says: "Take one twice a day and finish the whole course." If "course" is the only problem, asking her to repeat the sentence just gives you the same unknown word a second time.
Check yourself
In a meeting, a colleague says, "Let's circle back on that next week." Negar understood every word except "circle back". What should she ask?
- Sorry, what does "circle back" mean?
- Could you repeat that, please?
- Pardon me? Say it again from the beginning.
- Sorry, I don't understand anything.
Show the answer
Sorry, what does "circle back" mean?
Yes. One word was missing, so she asks about that word. Short question, short answer, and the meeting moves on.
Sorry, could you say that again? /ˈsɑri kʊd jə ˈseɪ ðæt əˈɡɛn/
Please repeat what you just said. The safest, friendliest way to ask.
Sorry, could you say that again? It's a bit loud in here.
"Mean" is a normal verb, so it needs "does"
In Persian «یعنی چی» is one short question with no helper verb, which is why "What means this?" slips out. In English mean behaves like work, live or cost: a question about it takes do or does. "What is the meaning of…" is correct too, but it sounds like a dictionary.
- What does "deadline" mean?
- Sorry, what does that mean?
- What means deadline?
- What is the meaning of deadline?
Check yourself
Omid is reading a rental contract and hits a word he doesn't know. Choose the missing word.
Sorry, what ____ "tenant" mean?
Show the answer
does
Clerk: You'll need to fill this in and bring proof of residency.
Omid: Sorry, could you say that again?
Clerk: Sure. Fill in this form, and bring something that proves where you live.
Omid: OK. What does "proof of residency" mean exactly?
Clerk: A bill with your name and address on it. Electricity, internet, anything like that.
Omid: So you mean an electricity bill would work?
Clerk: Exactly.Three questions, three different tools, and Omid walks out knowing exactly what to bring.He never says "I don't understand". Every question asks for one specific thing, so every answer is short.
Your toolkit
- Say it again: "Sorry?" · "Sorry, could you say that again?" · "Could you repeat that, please?"
- Slow down: "Could you speak a bit more slowly, please?" · "Sorry, could you say that in a simpler way?"
- One word: "What does 'refund' mean?" · "Sorry, what's a 'letting agent'?"
- Check you got it: "So you mean…?" · "Let me make sure I've got this right."
- Name the missing part: "I got the address, but not the time." This is the strongest one: it gets you a two-second answer instead of the whole speech again.
Check yourself
The doctor gave instructions too quickly. Ask her to repeat them, politely. Start with "Could".
Show the answer
Could you say that again
Right. "Could you say that again?" is a question, so it's a request and not an order.
Two one-word questions, two very different feelings
Sorry? · Pardon?
Your voice goes up and it means "please say that again". Safe with anyone, anywhere. "Sorry?" is the everyday one; "Pardon?" is a little more formal and more common in Britain.
What? · Excuse me?
"What?" on its own is blunt with anyone except close friends. And be careful with "Excuse me?" said sharply: in American English it often means "I can't believe you just said that", which can start an argument you never intended.
Check yourself
Which problem is each question solving?
- Sorry, could you say that again?
- Could you speak a bit more slowly?
- What does "deposit" mean?
- Sorry, what's a "letting agent"?
- So you mean the shop closes at six?
- Let me make sure I've got this right.
Show the answer
It went too fast: Sorry, could you say that again?, Could you speak a bit more slowly?
A word I don't know: What does "deposit" mean?, Sorry, what's a "letting agent"?
Checking I got it: So you mean the shop closes at six?, Let me make sure I've got this right.
Checking that you really got it
- Say it back in your own words
"So you mean I should come back on Tuesday?" If you're wrong, they correct one small thing instead of repeating the whole thing.
- Or repeat just the risky part
This is the echo from lesson 3, with your voice rising: "Tuesday?" "The second floor?" One word from you, a clear yes or no from them.
- Ask for the part you missed, not the whole thing
"Sorry, I got the first part, but not the last bit." People are relieved when you tell them exactly where you lost the thread.
Check yourself
At the pharmacy, the pharmacist tells Sara: "Take one twice a day, after food, and finish the whole course." Sara caught everything except the last part. What should she say?
- OK, thank you.
- Sorry, could you repeat the whole thing again for me, please?
- What means "course"?
- Sorry, what do you mean by "the whole course"?
Show the answer
Sorry, what do you mean by "the whole course"?
Exactly. She names the part she missed, so she gets a one-sentence answer and the right instructions.
Lesson recap
- Split "I don't understand" into three: too fast, one unknown word, or not sure I got it.
- "Sorry?" and "Sorry, could you say that again?" are always safe. "What?" is blunt.
- "Mean" needs a helper: "What does that mean?", never "What means that?"
- Say it back to check: "So you mean…?" or echo one word with a rising voice.
- Naming the part you missed gets you a short answer: "I got the address, but not the time."